Since I'm in an emo mood aka another "women" topic

[raublekick]

So, I'm 20 years old and I don't know how to ask a girl out, or even tell her how I feel about her. Yeah, pathetic.

I've got this crazy thing for a friend of mine who've I've become pretty good friends with over the past 6 or so months, and I just don't know what to do. I don't want to reveal my feelings for her and create some akwardess between us, but it's just been getting at me. I either need to do something, or punch myself in the balls until I forget about it. Part of me wants to tell her, regardless of her reaction, but part of me wants to just let it go and keep her as a good friend because I'd rather have her as a friend than nothing at all.

Creeper's gonna make fun of me for this. Ignore this if you want, it's basically just a big vent for me.

[Stormy]

The obvious emo answer is to cut yourself.

[Mike]

omg this is liek my faaaav dashbord song!

[teensupernothing]

i don't even know what to say buddy. i'm happy you like somone, but you just gotta ask yourself if you like having them like a friend, and figure out how bad it'd be if it got lost because of the awkwardness, ect.

good luck i guess

[thecreeper]

if its eating you up inside, it's worth asking if she's be interested in going out. it's not like she's going to cast you down into the pits of hell for asking. i just wouldn't unload on her all at once. i'm telling you man, just have some balls and ask her. what do you have to lose? all right well i guess you could really fuck it up and make it awkward to talk to her, but you've been this mopey bitch recently, and you should do something.

oh and...OMG ANDREW GO WRITE A WHINY, SHALLOW POEM ABOUT IT YOU WHINY EMO FUCKTARD!

[malta]

Yea, just ask her if she'd ever thought about being together or anything like that, and see how it goes from there. Theres no reason for the friendship to be awkward afterwords if she says shes not interested, or if you two ever broke up. It doesn't have to be such a serious thing.

[raublekick]

Last night she wrote me a reminder note so I wouldn't forget to wake up for work this morning <3<3<3

Seriously, that's the nicest thing a female has ever done for me.

I'll probably ask her about it sometime soon, like I said though, I'm pretty much an ignoramus when it comes to that stuff though.

[trademark]

dont overthink stuff; like a girl being nice is just a girl being nice.

imo you should ask a non-friend girl out instead. your situation could get unnecessarily complicated, and honestly you have to ask yourself if you really like this girl or if you're just desperate and she's the closest thing.

once you get the first one out of the way things get a lot easier

[malta]

That is the stupidest shit I've ever heard in my life (mark's post).

I'll reply later, I have to go to work.

[thecreeper]

you have to remember, trademark bangs bitches.

[malta]

Eh, fuck it.

Mark's still a dumbass.

edit:

edit: No really, just fuck it I guess.

Have you asked her? I really wanna know so I can start a livejournal and write about how much I think shes a bitch.

[trademark]

from the first post it sounds like she is one of those long term friend type deals

like seriously, when you meet a girl typically you/she figures out whether or not the relationship is platonic or not within the first few weeks of knowing each other

obviously its not just random chicks or whatever; but by saying hes never asked a girl out etc it makes me think he's wanting to do it just to do it.

stuff like 'the nicest thing a female has ever done for me' is overthinking.

[malta]

Yea, I guess I'm not in total disagreement. If you read any of my post before I edited it, I'm really... really sorry.

I don't think you should ask a girl out just because you havn't and you want to... if thats why you want to. I'm not sure it would actually make things easier the next time you would want to do it, but who knows. Friendships and relationships are better when its so comfortable that if you ever wanted to know something from her or about her, you could just ask.

The note she left you... thats cute. I wouldn't think any girl I hang out with would do that. I wouldn't feel weird thinking that means she might like you. So... take a chance.

[raublekick]

I definately don't want to ask her just for the sake of asking. I can blame my 5 year stint in no-girlfriends-land on my lack of good looks or whatever, but truthfully it has a lot to do with my selectiveness. I don't care about looks so much, but I care about personality a great deal. That's mostly why I haven't had a girlfriend in years. I don't give a shit about getting laid (hey, I'm 20, soon to be 21, and I'm still a virgin! woah!), I'd rather just find a girl who's awesome in general.

I've worked in the same place for five years and the majority of the staff has always been girls, the majority of them majorly attractive. But most of them are just two-faced beotches. I'm in my third year of college, plenty of hotties around campus, but I can't fathom trying to have a decent conversation with many of them. This girl however, meets my standards of just being awesome, and not fake at all. She's just genuinely nice to me.

[Plain Old Jane]

Originally Posted by raublekick

I definately don't want to ask her just for the sake of asking. I can blame my 5 year stint in no-girlfriends-land on my lack of good looks or whatever, but truthfully it has a lot to do with my selectiveness. I don't care about looks so much, but I care about personality a great deal. That's mostly why I haven't had a girlfriend in years. I don't give a shit about getting laid (hey, I'm 20, soon to be 21, and I'm still a virgin! woah!), I'd rather just find a girl who's awesome in general.

OMG, raub, you rool! just that even dont care about sex, makes you 80x more likly of landing a decent partner.

Hmm... lemmie think here...
I cant say I relate to the no girlfriends thing tho, as I have had a steady stream of partners since I dropped 70 lbs junior year of HS... thats not nessesarily good for me, the dumping in december by dawn was ESPECIALLY painful and STILL is, in fact I was rather emo about it last weekend when I saw her kissing someone else. ( ::force of sorrow punches me in the stomach:: ) Anyway I'm not trying to be shallow... its just... different...

I'd say you're lucky in a lot of ways, unlike me, you're prolly still riddled with innocense about relationships, which (decent) girls might find adorable if you let them see it. that naivete may score you a few points with teh laddyes.

You are intelligent, I mean, you post here, so obviously you're smart. College campus's are absolutly overflowing with douchbags looking to get laid first and have a meaningful relationship about 29743th down the list, the other 29742 entries are all people they want to sleep with. Intelligence is a real turn on in a lot of decent potential partners.

hmm, KNOW YOUR DEMOGRAPHIC. sound advice in any endevour; you're her friend which clues you in to what you two have in common. Bringing these to light and sharing them with her maybe a great way to illicit feelings from her. Talking is great too, lots of talking. Make sure you know her sense of humor well too, telling the wrong joke is likely to ruin the chances for good of going-out-age.

I dont claim to know everything about women (or men, or whatever), but I know what floats my boat, I know how to make my partner feel like the only other person in the world, and (most times) I know my limits and say no to certain things... like a guy named jeff who picks you up in a club late one saturday when you just had the equivilent of 10 drinks in the car and he keeps offering to buy you a drink, but all you wanna do is dance and maybe share cigarette preferences so you end up having to just fake having to throw up and leave... ahem.... Thats when you say no... also, if shes 12, big no no....

You never know tho, raub. Have a party, invite her, and see if she hangs around you all night, thats a good indicator. mmm... this is my turn to be crass tho... I wouldnt suggest the old junior HS method of confessing your feelings to her and asking her out, THAT is what makes the relationship wierd... that might scare her off. mmmm... casually asking her to go to dinner with you on a weekend may be too casual for her, she may think you'd want the relationship to be casual as well.

What ALL of this boils down to is: know whats appropriate, and dont force it, if you know that you two have differing views on where a relationship should go, dont force it, it'll just cause more pain. Just, YOU know her better than I do, so, you'll know what to do when you need to do it.

[raublekick]

thanks for the advice, jep, but you wasted your breath. there is a good chance her and her roommate will be moving to ohio, florida, or tennessee by the end of the summer

[Plain Old Jane]

no problem, its only the most excruciating bout of carpal tunnel ever...

sorry raub, I wish you all the best in your dating endevours...

[Thorne]

so you're worried about the long term benefits when shes not gonna be around for (a) long (term)?

unless you got your mind set,

be careful man, women usually arent too patient.
best wishes

[raublekick]

i've pretty much just said "fuck it, dude" to the whole idea of it. i missed my chance, and it's my fault.

[Cid]

You really should put some thought into what Mark is saying here...I don't totally agree...but you do want to make sure it's not just a "want what you don't got" type deal (been there!).

I think you should just ask to dinner sometime or something harmless like that. I'm not sure what kind of friendship you have, so I don't know if dinner/movies/stuff are things you normally do together or if it's normally in a group. Either way, just try to get her alone and someplace you can talk. Pay for her, just don't act all "date-like". But get the idea in her head that you're a pretty swell guy, and dates with you would be pretty cool.

...then stick your tongue down her throat...

works every time