dear sirs i am from a nigerian bank...

[Plain Old Jane]

KINDLY ASSIST ME.

I am Hajia Mariam Abacha the wife of former Nigeria
Military ruler General Sani Abacha who died on june 8 1998
as a result of Cardiac arrest.

I got your contact from an inquiry i made ,where a reliable
and dependable recommendation of your good self was
introduced to me.Based on this,I write you to assist me in
this transaction.

Following the house arrest order clamped on me, the
detention and arrest of my first son Mohammed, the freezing
of all our offshore account I seek for your assistance as
discussed with my son and lawyer in this transaction.

We have a total sum of $50,000.000.00 (fifty million US
dollars) which we will like to use and buy an Estate in
your country where we will live when we are freed by our
Government and to invest offshore to uplift our livelihood.


This said amount was secretly SEALED IN TWO METAL TRUNK
BOXES and deposited with a diplomatic security company as
FAMILY VALUABLES AND PERSONAL ITEMS.This was done in order
to beat security even customs.

This money was found in my husband's secret vault and
deposited with a security company in Nigeria and with the
help of a diplomatic security company will be moved to USA
or Europe, inorder to secure the funds as our Government
searchlight is still on.

Please if you can assist us claim this consignment and
assist us in the area of investment, kindly contact me on
my e-mail so that the Air-way bill will be prepared in your
name and sent to you to enable you claim the consignment as
the beneficiary.

The certificate of deposit will also be sent to you.
Conclusively, we have jointly agreed to give you 25% of the
total sum, 70% will be for our own project while 5% will be
for every expenses incurred in the course of this
transaction .Looking forward to your quick response. please
reply me through my private email
address(mariamabs_005@yahoo.it)

Thanks

HAJIA MARIAM ABACHA

---------

my reply:


Dear ms. Abacha,

You have my deepest sympathies. A warlord of his caliber is not likely to be seen again in the near future. As you probably already know since you contacted my private email. My name is Seranata Gotti, if you have heard my name in the media, i suggest you forget any of it if you wish to do business, as my schedule is indeed very full.

My organization usually works with workers unions and contracting companies in the exchange of money and equipment for a modest fee. But I think I can work something covert out if that is your desire. Unfortunatly I do not have enough time in my schedule to work all this out, therefore i will forward this messege and your next messege to my consigliare, Jean Paul. He has instructions not to concern me with this unless there is a problem. I do hope there will not be a problem.

I look forward to our transaction.

Regards,
Seranata Gotti

---

I need a consigliare to play the part, you must play the part of a mob bosses assistant barely containing their hostile nature, and I do plan for there to be a problem, probably having to do with the money they want us to send to move the money. if we make it that far, i want to play the part of planing to screw them out of all the money.

[johnny]

could you sum this all up in, like, three sentences :/

[heX]

atleast when i write out something stupid no one would want to read its 2 senteces long. fuck damn do.

[Stormy]

hopping on the tl;dr bandwagon

[sharkz]

didn't you post something almost exactly like this once?

[Mr Biglesworth]

You ever gotten a response from your bait, jep?
I figure these guys are fishing for someone stupid who will part with their bank info within a few rounds of correspondence, there's no real underground involvement to tempt them with.

[Plain Old Jane]

i did post before, I did continue it and eventually they figured it out, then i was like, you need to research our culture better. Then I realized I gave hints to a con-man. Unfortunatly, my email got a mailer daemon, this addy does not exist thing, so I LOSE.

Summary: durr durr duuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...