so i'm gonna post a "boys" topic

[teensupernothing]

so this guy i've known for years, since i was in 7th grade, (i'm a junior now) and i realized that we've had more than just a friendship, for the last few months.

the problem is, his mom hates me, because he was dumb enough to tell her what happened to me summer of frosh year. now she thinks i'm "emotionally unstable" and that i "grew up too fast to be with her little boy"

needless to say, i'm pissed as hell, because A) it's not something i wanted out, and B) it wasn't my fault.

yeah. once again christine gets hurt because she's dumb.

[thecreeper]

he sounds like the schmuck for telling his mom. i dont know what to tell you on that one, but i doubt you are in the wrong.

[raublekick]

i'm going to side with the guy on this, i would have told my mom most likely. but my mom is pretty cool about shit. when she found out that one of my good friends got kicked out of Drexel for his raging coke habit, she just hoped that he was getting help and whatnot.

i wouldn't let her stand in the way though, hopefully she'll come to her senses

[Stormy]

Did he tell you why he told his mom?

[teensupernothing]

his mom asked if i was sexually active, and he told her that. i don't think he really had a right to tell her, since he said he wouldn't tell anyone, and his mom dosen't have the right to judge me for it, because it wasn't my fucking fault. it's just.. pissing me off big time. it's not my fault what happened happened, it's not like i ASKED to be raped jesus christ.

it's just like, jesus, how could you judge someone knowing only that they are 1) a really intense fencer 2) really active in the fencing community, like volunteering and shit and 3) that they were raped, and thus lost their childhood.

wonderful!!!!

[trademark]

imo you should move on :[

i mean it's totally unfair to you; the guy's an ass for telling anyone (even his mom) because it's your business and not his.

you should probably rethink your perception of him after that?

[Stormy]

Being raped isn't even being sexually active. When his mom asked that question, it wasn't to determine whether or not your hymen was intact, it was to know whether her little boy would be getting laid by his girlfriend. Have you spoken to him about it?

[Plain Old Jane]

if you think he is really worth it, you should see him anyway. I was a horrible liar frosh year (to my mom anyway), but by junior year I could sell ice to eskimos. You will however, only recieve 23 experience pts and a -2 to your alignment.

You could also call her up and confront her, explain your position, and if she bugs, or hangs up, or starts making sucking sounds over the phone, then its really not worth it. Sure everyone wants intimacy, even with the wrong people, but time has a way of snaking along even without our deepest wishes coming true.

Also, tell her that your past is not her problem, and that she's a selfish, dimunitive, judgemental, stuck up bitch for thinking that your the problem. It's HER insecurities. (granted the topic of debate between will have left some scars on you, but that is not the issue) Switch the terms of engagement, make HER the point of your conversation, she wont know what to do.

[malta]

I don't think the guy should have told his mom, but if your still interested in him I wouldn't care what his mom thinks (she sounds pretty ignorant for assuming you'd be a nut), just don't expect dinners with them to be any fun.

I'm pretty dissapointed in this as a "boys" topic overall. I was expecting it to sound like it was writtin by a cheerleader, talking about a dude named Skylar or Trent. Why'd you have to play games with my heart?

[Mike]

I dont think that you can blame anybody for telling their mom something (this isn't directed at you SuperTeenNothing, but those who think that he's a dousche for telling his mom). Mother's look out for their little boys, and they don't want them to get mixed up into things that they don't need to be involved in. However, I may challenge his character if he always listens to his mother all the time ...

I guess my only advice is that all high school relationships don't work out ... and when they do, one person is swallowing their pride too much, and they're going to end up dying of an anuerysm (sp?) when they're 67. Don't worry about trying to escelate the friendship... if you're chill as friends, be chill as friends. No need to try to make something out of something that some parties may not be interested in.

Or you can just have casual sex.

Also, tell her that your past is not her problem, and that she's a selfish, dimunitive, judgemental, stuck up bitch for thinking that your the problem. It's HER insecurities. (granted the topic of debate between will have left some scars on you, but that is not the issue) Switch the terms of engagement, make HER the point of your conversation, she wont know what to do.

I don't know if that's the best idea. Mothers are completely irrational human beings. It's hardcoded into their bios (mother boards ha ha nerd n3rd!), and calling her out on anything, when she already doesn't really like her, wouldn't do anything to allieviate the situation. It would probably hurt the chances with what's her name & boy and hurt boy & mother's relationship. Plus, the relationship between boy & momma is more important than the relationship between two high-school lovers.

Originally Posted by SuperTeen

it's just like, jesus, how could you judge someone knowing only that they are 1) a really intense fencer 2) really active in the fencing community, like volunteering and shit and 3) that they were raped, and thus lost their childhood.

Well ... you probably don't know that much about her and you've passed judgements on her. None of us know anything about this boy and his mother, but we're all making and passing judgements on them. Judgements are always fair, 100% of the time, always, even when they may be wrong. From her perspective, it could make sense. She probably carries a lot of stereotypes (many of which are not wrong) about rape victims... Probably things that she read in Ladies Home Journal and saw on Oprah Whinfrey, that talk about how rape victims have trouble later in life, in relationships, with the other sex, and other such things (I'm just guessing somebody has said something like that before)... And so, she may be under the inclination that she doesn't want her little guy getting involved in something that is too over his head--even if he already is. One of my friends was about to kill himself a couple of years ago, he was older, he was always messed up... And ... one night he was super depressed, on a lot of drugs, and I told him if he needed to talk to me, he could call me whenever ... he called me like 30 seconds later, wicked fucked up (I had never heard him like this) and I just talked some sense into him. This was at like 3:30 am, and my mother heard me talking like "don't do anything stupid" to this guy ... and she was like "I don't like that you're in these kind of relationships"-- and she was right. As much of a friend he was, his personal issues are his, not mine, and she was afraid that I'd take them on myself, make them my responsibility--which I did... and it made me crazy for a while.

So ... she's justified in her worries. You're justified in thinking that she's judging you incorrectly. THe guy is justified in his love for animal pornzors.

[raublekick]

Originally Posted by Mike

Judgements are always fair, 100% of the time, always, even when they may be wrong.

I totally agree. It's all about perspective. There's nothing I hate more than when an argument arises on the Internet and someone tries to use the "Well, you don't really know me" escape.

[Plain Old Jane]

I'd go with mike's advice here, he's right, it is perspective based.

then again, how will you learn if you dont do stupid things now.

rule numma 1. I RULE!

rule numma duex! never date anyone who attends high school... big mistake!

[teensupernothing]

this topic is not to say i am not sexually active.

this topic to say, that she is judging me based on the rape fact.

but yeah. he and i... are probably not gonna go out. i can't get over the hurdle with his mom, who is freaking insane.

it's not that big a deal anyway. i've given up on investing myself hardcore into any relationships right now. i don't wanna get hurt anymore.

[Mr Biglesworth]

Good choice...
honestly, relationships have to just kind of 'happen'. Of course, you can do things to make them 'kind of happen' more or less often or easily (for instance by showing an interest in someone and spending time with them). Sure, it sounds like it's too bad his mom is standing in between you two, but then the best thing you can do is just chillax and enjoy the time you do have with this boy, and maybe enjoy time with another boy. Be open, be happy, and let nature run its course.

There are wonderful boys out there, christine, who are loving and tender. There's one out there for you.... don't accept one who isn't.

[teensupernothing]

Originally Posted by Mr Biglesworth

There's one out there for you.... don't accept one who isn't.

wow. that made me feel crazy warm and fuzzy inside.

yeah. he and i are cool, and he totally understands why i'm giving up. i just don't feel like every time i go over there, or see him at a tournament, getting an evil-eye from his mom. i'm sick of being judged by everyone. heh. but seriously. i'm just gonna let this type of shit fall into place for now, because i don't feel like being hurt anymore, i'd say i've had my share of that for a few years to come.

thanks for your advice everyone

[malta]

Whats important is whatever makes you happy.

[Plain Old Jane]

Originally Posted by Mr Biglesworth

There are wonderful boys out there, christine

and some girls too